My soul searching
by belinka cullen
Summary: And if the love of his life is a dying business, if you were the only person to save her? Even though the last thing you want to do, but it is the only chance. What would you do?
1. Prologue

Prologue

And if the love of his life is a dying business, if you were the only person to save her? Even though the last thing you want to do, but it is the only chance.  
What would you do?

Happiness. Life. Meaning. Finished.

When the month is up.

Can you face it?

You go beyond the limits of love?

Give chance to the inevitable?

Often, the reality may be even worse than our darkest nightmares!

"Sometimes I wish that death came quickly. For I can not make people suffer like that."

(...) "It's over now, no more suffering."

(...) Back my Bella, still can not lose it. "

(...) "I told you not to make you suffer until needed."

(...) "I will not ask you to pretend I never existed, but remember me as a distant past, a good thing ... Live your life ... I love you!"

(...) " Sorry Bella. " And once again he fixed his teeth in my throat.

(...) "My last request is: Do not suffer."

(...) "I love you for eternity my Bella."


	2. Dream, pains and surprises

**Hello.****My name is Belinka Cullen and I live in Brazil.**

**I love the Twilight ****Series and decided to write a FIC.****The original story is in Portuguese, so I translate for you also could read my words.****  
****As you will note, the story has its beginning like Twilight, but I guarantee that you will be surprised at the direction of history.****Totally different.****With a proper plot.****Keep reading that you will understand why I say that it is different.**

**  
****I hope you enjoy.**

**  
****ps: sorry if I make some grammatical errors.****Any doubt ask me in comments.**

Chapter 1 – DREAM, PAINS AND SURPRISES.

_"I wanted to scream but could not, the tubes that went down my throat muffled the sound. The pain was consuming me, I could not bear it, but I had to support it, I knew there was someone who wanted me to continue fighting. I heard familiar voices somewhere near. I struggled and managed to open my eyes. And he was there. The man dreams of others. I could not see his face, my vision was founded. Just saw its forms, tall, pale skin, bronze hair and disheveled, thin, but strong. He was beautiful! At the same time that I was amazed with its beauty. I knew he was suffering. – "Stay with me Bella". The whisper heard. The pain increased, causing me to sink into the pillow and blinding me completely. I heard a frantic pulse. My own heart? And suddenly, everything was silent. I was dominated by darkness and felt my body float. Was dead?"_

I woke with a star, tears bathed my face. "It was just a dream". I told myself. The same dream that haunted me for months, making me tremble every night before sleep, afraid that the dream came. But he always came.

Gradually could normalize my breathing. The clock said 2:30 am. Was fully awake. I got of my bed, stumbling, groping the wall of the room looking for the switch, no longer wanted the dark, need the light, my dream was so real in the dark room seemed endless.

I sat my favorite chair, grabbed my jornal and started writing, when I had his dream, he described the daily, ever had a memory more than dream. I did not want to forget the image of him, even unable to see your face, I want to remember.

I fell asleep sitting in his chair, trying once again to forget the nightmare, but at the same time, not wanting to forget him, the man of my dreams!

That morning I felt unwell, also could, I lay awake at night, it never left me well.

Today was a difficult day for me. The marriage of my mother Renée. Not that I was not happy for her. She was radiant. But I knew about all this happiness of the new couple, a person would have suffer. This person, I am!

When my mother finally decided to marry her boyfriend Phil, I had to make a difficult choice. Leave the new couple to live happily, without having the responsibility of a teenager around. I would live with my father, Charlie, in a town called Forks, Washington state, my father was chief of police of the city. Even the 10 years I spent my summer vacation there. Hated the city more than anything in life, the worst place in the world there. Never wanted to return to this city cold and rainy. I loved the sun, loved Phoenix, my mother, my friends and even my school. But the decision had been taken. Just leave after the wedding.

The day dragged on. I know it was supposed to be a happy day, but I was faced burial. Do not let my mother see my frustration. I wanted her happy in her marriage.

The wedding was wonderful, despite feeling a tremendous pain to have to leave it all behind and have to live isolated from everything I loved, I did enjoy myself. The night flew by, and when I found myself, was already in my room. I could not hold my tears, would be the last night that it would in my house. I my private world. I fell asleep crying.

Up early because the flight be at 10 am. I was a mess inside. But smiling on the outside.

- "Bella, you do not need to go, you know that will not bother here, be my daughter". My mother told me with eyes full of tears when we were at the airport.

- "Mom, don't cry, I'll be fine with Charlie. I'm sure it will be fun to live with him after so long". I opened a broad smile, pretending to be okay.

- "honey, you know you can back whenever you want, do not feel trapped that city". I told my mother in the midst of a hug. Repel your embrace strongly.

- "mom, don't worry. I'm happy!". Sketched a beautiful smile for her, and kissed his forehead. I embraced the Phil and I went to my flight.

My relationship with my mother has always been different, I was the mother of the relationship, never the opposite.

I sat in my chair, opening the curtain of the plane in order to remember the sun. I wish I had till the last moment is heat.

The flight to Seattle was delayed. To my despair. I slept almost the whole time, and when I found myself, the plane was already taxiing on the runway.

I did my check out and got my luggage.

My father, Charlie, was waiting for me with a shy smile on his lips. I never had much ability to express my feelings towards my father, and he also was not very good at it. But even hating the city he lived, I loved him, after all, was my father.

He hugged me shyly. I reciprocate your embrace.

- "You're beautiful baby. I was missing Bells". Hated the nickname, I was no longer a child!

- "dad, Bella only please, I'm not a baby anymore". He looked disappointed.

- Isabella ok, I'll get used to call you Bella, even though you have 17 years, is still my little girl". He looked at me disappointed, I could not resist, after all, I loved that hard head of my father. I hugged him tight deposited a kiss on her right cheek. He was colored with my sudden display of affection.

- "Dad, can call me Bells, but I'll just let you call me that". I smiled at him, he returned with a grin.

- "okay, gonna?" he spoke grabbing my bags, only two, because most my clothes are being used for the climate of Forks. Would have to buy heavy coats urgently.

Followed to the parking lot. Static when I realized that I had to go to the police car home. God, what have I done to deserve! Besides having to live in that horrible city, would have to walk the car back and here?

The road from Port Angeles to Forks was silent, took just over an hour that path. I looked at the way, green, very green, gray, very gray. The strong rain fall. I felt torn inside, the worst in the world, and I was there!  
We arrived at my new house, nothing had changed since my parents separated.  
We went and we continued in silence, I looked around. He kept home with the same feminine touch that my mother had given years ago. Old photos in picture frames, ate some of my drawings were decorating the wall.

- "Well… welcome home". He was so embarrassed as I am with the situation.  
- "Yeah". I tried to smile but could not. He realized, and if present in the stairs with my bags. The follow. I wanted to be alone for a few moments.  
- "I hope you enjoy your room. I asked the seller choose the bedding".  
- "Thanks". It was the only thing I gotta say. I desperately needed to be alone with my sorrow. Of course, Charlie knew as soon left me alone in the room. There also nothing had changed. I started to unpack my bags, but could not bear, I lay in a fetal position in my new bed, I cried impetuously, I felt a deep pain, as if my life had just stopped, since I came to Forks.  
It went down to dinner, and Charlie came not bother me in my pain. I slept clutching my pillow, muffling my cries.

_"He was in front, some 10 meters away, I could not see his face, but I knew that smile.__Returns the smile.__He widened his smile and I could see his white teeth.__I blushed, lowering his head. When I looked again the look, I found confusing messages, my father and my mother crying over a coffin and his blood flowed.__I panicked, tried to run, but had no strength, my feet were stuck to the floor.__I felt a light touch on my shoulder, looked frightened, was my grandmother Swan.__By God, she died 6 years.__– "Come on baby.__She told me".__I felt my body floating next to her.__I felt lighter.__He was holding his hand.__She smiled at me.__- It's over now, no more suffering.__I tried in vain to hold his hand, but she held firm.__I looked for my parents, they were suffering from their side and there he was.__I looked at his golden brown eyes, he also suffered, but did not cry when our eyes met I felt all your pain inside my soul.__I tried to speak but my voice did not quit.__Like a whisper, I heard his voice: - "Come back my Bella, still can not lose it". "_

I woke up crying aloud, half a minute later my dad comes running, scared.  
- "Bells, dear, what happened?" I could not speak, only cry. My father held me tight. I could not find my voice, only wept in the arms of my father. – "Calm down dear, it was just a bad dream, shhhhiii, sleep baby". He cradled me as when I was little.  
I fell asleep in the arms of my father.

I woke up early that day because I had to hurry, it would be my first day at Forks High School. Great, middle of the semester, not knowing anyone, it was fucked. I went down and started to prepare my coffee, strange, because Charlie was not home, it was there that I heard a deafening noise followed by a burst, by reflex, I lay on the floor, thinking being shot (he was accustomed to hear this kind of noise in Phoenix). I heard hurried footsteps in the house, I slipped under the table, already imagined the worst. My dream was to prophesy, I would die, but I had not known the man of my dreams!

- "Hahahahaha, Bells, which is under the table?" My father laughed aloud, God, he heard the shot? How could I be laughing in a situation like this?  
- "D… Da… daddyyy, go down, I heard gunshots". I spoke to stutter so scared I was.  
My father bent down in front of me, okay I he was chief of police, but did not have to act like a hero pretending not to be scared too. I looked at him, still frightened, and he was still laughing.  
- "Baby Come out, not shots, it's just a surprise for you". He said, still laughing. Do not move a muscle, I was really scared, Forks was no longer a sleepy town they once did.  
My father pulled me by the arm, pulling me from my reverie.  
- "Come, I have a surprise for you". The follow, still scared, I was almost towed out the door. My father reached out to those presenting sales programs, demonstrating the product. I followed his gaze to where he pointed. It was an old van, a shade of rusty red. I looked at him without knowing what to say.  
- "So, what did you think of your surprise?" He asked.  
I still did not understand anything, my surprise was old van? But what was amazing to see something old?  
- "I did not understand his father, the surprise was show me that here in Forks people like to have mummies standing before the house?" We laughed together.

- "No, dear, this is your welcome gift. I bought Billy, remember him?" I thought a little, and then I remembered it. Hey, my father gave me a car ????? Of course it is not a "car", but was mine! I hugged my father felt my tears roll, he returned the hug, awkwardly, then turn away.  
- "Thanks Dad, but need not, I have some savings..." He did not let me finish the sentence.  
- "Bells, is the only thing I can do, so at least you need not be ashamed to walk with a police car". He laughed. – "So, did you?" He said opening a wide smile.  
- "Sure dad! I loved!"


	3. FIRST CONTACT, THE TWO VERSIONS

Chapter 2 - First contact, the two versions

POV BELLA

He drove toward the school, my old lady did not go the 90 km/h, but could not take a chance to go faster, the rain was too strong, wipers barely were aware of the water on the windshield.

I walked into the school parking lot, there were many cars, bad sign, parked in a spot furthest from the school building. At least I will not be very noticeable. I disconnected the old lady, I got scared of the burst that she did. – "Rattletrap! Now who would not be noticed draws more attention!" I muttered to myself. I looked around and all, yes, all students who were around me looked ready to explode in laughter. I was purple in time. I wanted to stick in the ground. _Argh_. I put my i-pod in the bag. I left as if nothing had happened. Of course, my face was inches from the floor.

I went straight through the parking lot without looking at sides. Was when I hit the front with a wall. No, it was a wall, was a boy, his back to me. Ready falls, I'm even a tapir, was getting stuck inside. He turned quickly. I tried to get up and apologize.

- "I'm sorry..." That's when I looked at him. I'm dreaming, can only be a dream! Yes, he was the man of my dreams crazy. Tall, pale skin, golden eyes, bronze hair disheveled. His expression was serious, did not seem any emotion, looked at me, seemed not to breathe.

Just as appeared in front of me, he was gone, saw him running school house. He must be an athlete, the speed that ran.  
I got up and grabbed my backpack.

- "Hey, you okay? Hurt?" I turned quickly to the voice. He was a little taller than me, blonde, green eyes, and was smiling.

- "Er ... yes I'm fine, no hurt". I also spoke with a smile.

- "ahh .. then ... hi ... I'm Mike Newton..." He said extending his hand - "…you must be the daughter of the chief of police, Isabella Swan, right?" How did he know my name? I held out my hand to the length.

- "Only Bella please". He still smiled at me. How cute! Returns the smile.

I turned and was walking toward the building of the secretariat and it came following me.

- "So you thought it would topple the Cullen on the floor."

- "Who?" I asked.

- "Cullen, who you ran over". Said smiling.

- "Ahh, did not know his name, he appeared out of nowhere in front of me, I thought I had bumped into a wall. Then he ran, I could not apologize".

- "Not heats up, the Cullen is even stranger, the strangest of all".

- "Of all?" I asked curiously.

- "They are in 5 brothers, 3 men and two women, all have to face daunting ... right .. they are beautiful, they seem super models, but they are strangers, do not interact with other students and also seem to be older than the rest of us". He said. I had to laugh because it looked like a girl gossiping about other students. He looked at me seriously as I laughed, I stopped laughing.

- "Sorry, not pay attention, I am kind of lunatic sometimes".

- "All right! Well here is the secretary, I have some lessons with you Isabella".

- "Ah, just Bella". I looked at him making a cart. He looked at me funny.

- "Yes, yes, I forgot, only Bella". He left and went toward his room.

I went into the office was empty. Behind the counter was a red-haired lady with glasses on the tip of the nose. Looked up to me seriously.

- "Yes?" Spoke harshly.

- "Hi I'm Isabella Swan, I need to get my schedule". She rose quickly and came walking towards me.

- "Ohh, baby, sorry, thought you were one of our students already wanting remission of tuition". She smiled apologetically. – "Isabella So, here are their hours of classes and also a map of the college". She handed me the papers with his hands, and got it. – "Any doubts come to visit me, I will be available. Welcome to Forks High School".

- "Er... Thank you".

Get out of there fast. I looked at my schedule. Literature Block B room 3. I took the map to locate me, I looked quickly, praying that no one was watching me. It was embarrassing to be new student, even in such a small town like Forks.

I found the room, everyone was already seated in their respective tables. Damn. I entered the room and went to the teacher.

- "You must be new to students, right?"

- "Ye... Yes". Damn, I had to stutter. The entire room was watching me.

- "So, without further delay Isabella, we have much work, we have an open seat right there". He said, pointing more forward in the third row.

I looked at the table, had a girl with blond hair lank sitting there, she smiled at me. I smiled back. I took a quick look around the room. Soon I saw Mike Newton deeper, waved and smiled at him. When I returned my gaze to my future pair of literature, she fulminated with eyes.

I sat down and began to rummage in my backpack.

- "Hi, I'm Jessica". I looked at her, she smiled. Phew, I thought I would have enemies on the first day.

- "Hi, I'm Bella".

We talked a few minutes, she wondering why I moved to Forks, as it was in Phoenix. The teacher drew the attention of the class and turn our eyes to class. She was nice.

I could not concentrate in class, my thoughts were far away, the man of my dreams, that is, that guy who stumbled early. I ended up thinking I was going crazy, and it was just the fruit of my imagination. When I saw him again, he would be a normal kid, would not be anything like that man. I was awakened from my reverie by Jessica.

- "Bella, what's your next class?"

- "Humm..." I took my time and gave a quick look. – "Physical Education". Hated more than anything physical education, was where I showed my skills to falls, twists, etc…

- "Well, then I think we find ourselves at lunch. Come sit with us, I offer you my friends, so you do not get so lost". The bell rang. I thanked her for the invitation. Had to start interacting with other students one time or another.

The physical education class until she was not bad, for being my first day, I was only a spectator. After I attended a Spanish class, tedious. Everyone was being very friendly with me, until that was not being my first bad day.

POV EDWARD

Ghe lay staring at the ceiling, it was almost time to go school, hated it, but had to keep up appearances. The house was quiet.

- "Edward Cullen, get out of that room and put a decent outfit and come with us to school!" cried Alice in your room. Small of hell, I hated when she was with that tone of voices, telling me. But I loved her, was my favorite sister.

- "Alice, because you will not fill the bag of Jasper, he will not tolerate this!" I spoke laughing, knowing his answer.

_I did not buy clothes perfect for today you stay there lying, and Jasper loves me, and not HANDLE ME__!_ Laugh with your thoughts.

- "you hear?" she said.

It was good to read minds, at least none of the others needed to know what we were talking about. Of course, this irritated me, because listening to one person is easy, but listen to the mind of all people is maddening. But anyway, this was my gift, could not chance that.

I was a few more minutes looking at the ceiling was down to not going to class today. I wanted to go hunting.

- "None of Edward, nothing to go hunting alone, let us all together tonight, I saw!". Alice again.

That anger, he rated the gift it, predict the future.

As he had no choice, got up and changed clothes. I went quickly to the garage, the others already waiting for me. _Damn! because the fucking Emmett has to be wondering what made last night with Rosalie?_

- "Please Emm! I'm here!" I told myself driving it.

He looked scared, but now apologizing and thinking about something else.

I went into the car quickly, soon all followed my act. Was off of all, trying to block his thought, wanting a moment mine. He drove fast. I love speed.

When I walked into the school parking lot was already full. There hundreds of minds tormenting. _I still go crazy!_ Unlock the thoughts of my brothers. Nothing much.

Jasper was thinking of his wedding anniversary with Alice, trying not decide which gift to give to it, since it will know. It was hilarious! Alice was trying to block his thoughts, raising a brick wall. Strange, but I did not pay attention. Things to Alice.

Emm in the car behind was struggling with a grizzly bear in mind. He was like a child in his thoughts of hunting. Always wanted to play with the bears, at least something that would use some of its strength.

Rosalie was thinking how beautiful she was. Girl futile. Blocked her at the time. That's when I saw it. Alice hugging a girl and the same human cry. Then I was hugging"

. Things to Alice. Emm in the car behind was struggling with a grizzly bear in mind. He was like a child in his thoughts of hunting. Always wanted to play with the bears, at least something that would use some of its strength. Rosalie was thinking how beautiful she was. Girl futile. Blocked her at the time. That's when I saw it. Alice hugging a girl and the same human cry. Then I was hugging!

- "Alice? What?" I asked. In the same second she starts singing the anthem of Germany in thought. She stuck her tongue out at me.

Looked furious at her. Damn, I hated when she did that to me.

- "sooner or later you will know what is Edward, don't be going into my head!"

- "As is I could get rid of is right Alice?" everyone laughed.

We left the car, and nothing was dropping a grenade in the parking lot. Of course, exaggerate, for human ears, the sound was just an escape car bursting, but not for our ears.

I looked at alice and saw me smiling and blocking. Weird. I looked back at the girl. I fixed my gaze on it. I do not know what got into me, but I knew she was different from others, I knew she was the girl from the future that Alice had seen minutes ago. I felt as if my eternity not make sense that these ninety-twenties, had not existed.

If I had a beating heart, he would certainly euphoric. She was beautiful. Brown hair, long and curly at the ends through, eyes the color of melted chocolate, and had a bright white skin made the snow, but his cheeks were flushed.

She strode along. Looked at the floor. I was walking calmly toward the building of the college, looking at it a few steps from me, I felt I was pushed by Alice against the girl.

I hardly caught off guard, but she blocked his thoughts. It was years that I had no physical contact with human, since I was a predator.

Try hard not to have any approach, to resist the temptation of blood. But that smell made me inflate the nostrils. It was a wonderful smell, never compared to another that makes sense.

It was sweet, intoxicating, but it is tempting, had something he could not identify it. I stopped breathing at the time, knew what could happen. I turned quickly and looked at the girl on the floor looking at me with his mouth open. I just ran. A little faster than a normal human speed. I needed to get away from it, but the worst was over. I went home, making the forest behind me become a blur.


	4. Escape, discoveries and touch

**H****ello!****I hope you are enjoying the story, it seems boring at first, but gradually you will understand what will happen differently.****Thanks to all who come here.**** Kisses**

Chapter 3 - Escape, discoveries and touch

I could not get it in my head. For over an hour I tried to think of something different, but only saw her in my thoughts. He was lying in bed. I could not go back to school. Don't know if it would resist.

I desperately needed to hunt, get rid of this burning thirst in my throat. _As a mere human can move me so much._ That was the question that is not silent in my thoughts. _You coward! It's just a human dull, the only problem is that its headquarters is very strong, not long ago that game._ I thought. _Damn._ I was not a coward, I was never, I always did everything right. Never had a problem before humans.

I'll come back damn school. No human will interfere with my façade of "human".

Downstairs just flying, just hit the door, my phone started ringing. Alice was.

- "What?" I asked sharply.

- "Calm Edward I saw his decision to return to school, I was happy, and also just called to say I don't see anything unusual about today, everything will be normal." She said.

- "Thanks Alice, sorry for being rude to you".

- "I understand you Edward, I don't understand my views of these earlier today".

- "Ok, I'm going".

I ran a little slower coming back to school, something told me that today would not be a typical day like Alice envisioned.

I came to college and I was hanging around to find a good time go undetected for a monitor. It was almost the lunch break, it was only a few moments.

He tried in vain to block the thoughts of others, most were attentive in class, come I saw the face of the new student, they were curious, after all, something different here.

The thoughts of Mike Newton came. He was reminding her, the moment you spoke with her when I was gone from him.

_Poor, so beautiful and so clumsy, that idiot Cullen had to be crossed in front of her. Well at least I have to thank him, so I could talk to her._ He thought.

_So cute waving to me, and that our smile!_ I tried to block his thoughts, he didn't know anything of the new pupil, but I couldn't. I was curious, don't know why.

_I invite it for us to sit at lunch, so I learn more of it._

_Did she'd go out with me sometime? Better know a bit more, which will have a boyfriend, but I doubt!_

The signal interval rang, I retired head of the Newton, but still curious, I decided to dig in the other, in order to find it. I was entering college.

I saw many thoughts. She was in the hallway toward the cafeteria. Many were curious. Some have great.

She just smiled and blushed. She was beautiful when she was well. I saw her stumble on their own feet. I had to laugh, Newton was right, she was clumsy.

The signal interval rang, I retired head of the Newton, but still curious, I decided to dig in the other, in order to find it. I was entering college. I saw it in many thoughts. She was in the hallway toward the cafeteria. Many were curious. Some have greeted. She just smiled and blushed. She was beautiful when she was well. I saw her stumble on their own feet. I had to laugh, Newton was right, she was clumsy.

- "What a joke Edward?" Emmett asked me when I finally got our table.

- "The new girl, stumbles on its own feet". He luahed.

- "What she thought when you knocked on the floor?" now Jasper was wondering.

- "I don't know, I don't have time to hear your thoughts as rushes" now it was my turn to laugh. _You idiot Edward, run away because of any one human._

_Edward, here she comes._ Alice warned me in thought.

I turned around, looking at the entrance od the cafeteria, she seemed lost.

I tried to know what she thought. _Nothing. _It seemed that she wasn't even there. I forced my gift, never needed to do this, but I decided to do, I'm going a little rusty._ Not again! _ How strange that. Or she had nothing on his heard, or that I was spoiled.

I saw Jessica Stanley waved to her. She returned the access and was soon to meet him.

_Why the hell Edward Cullen is staring at her? He never looks at anyone!_

Jessica was in her thoughts. Didn't like the things I saw there, she was vulgar, always thinking of me with obscenities. I turned my eyes from the girl, now faced Jessica.

_Ooowww, now he's looking at me!_

- "Hi Jessica". The girl said. That beautiful voice, sweet.

Jessica turned quickly to look at it. _Damn, this idiot had to come just when Edward stared at me._

Not like what I heard. It was stupid, I neither saw.

- "Ahh… hi Bella… sit down here with us".

- "Thanks" she sat down, but realized that she was embarrassed. _What the hell, because I didn't hear his thought?_

- "So…" said Jessica. – "These are Eric, Lauren, Tyler, Angela and Mike".

The idiot sighed when he spoke the name of Newton.

I had to disconnect it, but couldn't. It was getting really crazy. Why I became interested in human affairs. I had to get out. But why leave?

Only a common humanity in a typical day at school. I decided to left it go this girl. I was just puzzled why not hear his thoughts.

- "Edward, what the new human is thinking about us?" said Rosalie.

I looked back at her, now she looked at me. When she saw that I faced, bowed his head blushing.

- "Nothing"

- "She doesn't notice then, less evil" said Emmett.

- "Isn't that, I just can't hear what she's thinking!" everyone looked at me frightened.

_As he can't hear?_ Jasper thinking.

_Is he is starting to fail?_ Now was Rosalie.

_Damn, wish she was afraid of people._ This could only Emmett.

_Edward, I love the girl._ I looked incredulous to Alice.

- "What?!?"

_I know that I love her, I see it, she's my friend. _

Then I saw what she had anticipated. Alice embraced the girl Swan, she was crying binge. Then I saw her hugging and deposited a kiss on her hair.

- "Alice, how can it?" I asked.

- "Could you share that conversation with us." said Rosalie.

- "Alice, what you see?" Jasper was worried.

- "She just saw in our human way of hunting tonight, we have to take another direction." Lied.

I looked at the table where she was previously. _Damn. _ She had already left.

My brothers asked nothing more.

Soon the bell rang, I went quietly to my biology class. Again blocking the thoughts of others.

*************

One thing I couldn't understand. _Because I couldn't heard thoughts of that human_. That was frustrating. There has never been anything like it.

The images of the forecast Alice ran in my head. This wasn't possible to happen. Couldn't happen. _How could I be hugging her and kissing her on top of your hair. I would kill her!" _

I remembered the smell, which made my throat burn. I was also reminded of another smell that accompanied all the rest, a different smell, a sign that I didn't get thirsty on the contrary, gave me disgust.

I sat at my desk, bored as usual. The Biology teacher was already in the room. I was looking out the window to see the time pass. She didn't leave the dead. And the smell, it seemed so strong in my memory.

_No! it wasn't my memory!_ She was walking towards me, for the only vacant seat in the room: on my side! _Damn_.

She looked at me, his eyes seemed happy. I tried again to listen to your thought. Empty. Nothing.

I saw her biting her lower lip, looked down and blushed. She came walking slowly through the portfolios, now looking at their feet.

Everything happened very fast. She tripped on a backpack that was in the hallway. Was falling. I didn't think. Only act.

Held by the waist before he hit his head on the wallet. She was in my arms. My hand in contact with your skin between shirt and pants. It was soft as cotton.

She looked scared. My touch cold must have frightened her. Your smell cut my throat. I held my breath. This all happened in seconds.

She was already standing. Looking me eyes. I felt the power of his gaze. Inside me something was a different. I felt the need to protect this human being as insignificant.

- "Thanks".

His voice sounded like the most beautiful singing mermaid, a perfect melody. The smell that the sound has brought more and more burned my throat. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I forced myself out of the trance that his voice and smell put me.

- "You're welcome! Careful next time" said.

Her eyes widened, her heart raced and his mouth opened. I saw that she was speechless. Don't blame you, my kind has that power humans. The power of fascination.

- "Better sit, huh?"

- "Ye… Yeah" what grace, she stammered.

He sat down beside me. I felt the warmth that emanated from his body a few inches from mine. She stared at the teacher. And I couldn't take my eyes off her.

The pain of thirst was uncontrollable. His smell… was… can't explain. It was the best thing ever. I controlled my impulses. What would I do if I am not controlled? Or kill her there in a room full of witnesses, innocent children who also pay for my lack of control, or jump the window. Of course, skip the third floor, a normal person would break all, how would explain a scratch?

I was in my dreams throughout the class. Controlling me. Breathing minimized. Time and again she looked ate me, but nothing spoke.

Finally came the end of class. Get out quickly. He couldn't bear it their scent. But before I leave the room, looked at her again. There she was, looking me in the eyes. Looked away and ran to the parking lot. I knew that my high-control would no longer enough. I was definitely crazy.

Vampires can go crazy?


	5. Breathlessness and madness

**I wonder if anyone actually read up to this chapter.****If anyone reading this please leave a comment.**** P****lease!**

**I need to know if my translation is good, if you are ****getting. Please comment.**

Chapter 4 - Breathlessness and madness

Today being the day was odd in my life!

First my father gifted me with the van. After the episode in the parking lot. The man of my dreams to me centimeters. The lessons were endless. And that lunch. I couldn't fix my eyes on it. But he was draw to his eyes. I focused not to look, but I couldn't. he looked at me too. Had no more doubt, was the man who was in my dreams. He was real!

This biology class was much stranger. After the episode "Bella almost on the floor", I couldn't concentrate on the teacher spoke. I felt her look up to me. We were very close. And that tone that I almost froze before.

He should have gone to outside the building before entering the class, his hand was too cold. And the voice. A chorus tune would not have a sound not even like her.

The end of the class arrived. I wish I had spoken with him, but I was speechless.

He rose quickly, I was looking. _I idiot, lost the chance to talk to him._ I thought to myself. Before leaving the door her turns and looks directly into my eyes. He seemed to say something, his eyes were confused. I got lost in than gaze. Then he left.

I collected my materials. Finally the first day is over. I did pretty well. I even made some friends.

I met Angela in the hallway. She was beautiful, but hid her beauty behind thick glasses. Very nice. We walked to the parking lot.

- "How was your first day of school, Bella?"

- "It was strange, but survived". We laughed together.

It was different from Jessica, wasn't filling me with indiscreet questions.

- "See you tomorrow Bella".

- "See you later". Follow my path.

The old lady was away, almost at the end of the parking lot. I put my i-pod. I greeted some familiar faces. I saw Mike talking to Tyler on the other side. I waved at him, sending _bye- bye._

I was happy. Even hating this city, I would have to learn to live with that.

I reached my keys inside the backpack. When I touched the lock feel my body being turned gently.

I looked incredulous. _It was him!_ He looked deeply into my eyes. His mouth only inches from mine. Didn't know where to look; to your eyes or your mouth. He held tightly on my waist. I felt my legs tremble. _What is he doing?_

He moved his lips crashing against mine in a kiss. He kissed me urgently. His lips were soft, put a chill. I had no immediate reaction. When I found myself, corresponded to kiss the same urgency it. I dropped my backpack on the floor. I crossed my arms around his neck. He had one hand on my waist and another on my neck. He kissed me furiously. He pressed me against the door of the van, sticking his body on mine. Forget everything at the moment. Where were; the people around me who I was. I just wanted to feel her lips on mine and his hands on my body. I was breathless, couldn't breathe with their lips glued to mine.

I was in heaven! Or was just having another dream. I wake up in my bed. But I felt, his hands, his lips, his breathing too. It could be just dream.

Just as the kiss began, it ended. He looked scared, shook his head no and ran toward a silver Volvo. Drove off and disappeared from view.

I didn't feel my legs still felt light, no air by kissing so urgent. There I was supporting my back on the side of the van. I was petrified. I recovered my breath. I looked around, everyone looked at me. Mike was only two meters from me, his eyes wide and mouth open.

- "oouww… what waas that?" he finally said.

I don't know what to say, was still trying to put my thoughts in order.

- "Bella… Bella?" I heard him call me.

- "Ye… yes?" I said stuttering.

- "What was that? I didn't know who was with Cullen…"

- "I'm not with him!"

- "So how do you kiss that way?" said angry.

- "I'm asking the same question, I hardly know him, just sat together in biology class".

- "Okay" he said only that walking toward his car.

I couldn't think of anything, just remember the kiss and the urgency og it.

- "Oowww… Edward Cullen!" Jessica said. – "I never saw him with anyone, much less giving a kneading this".

I blushed at his words.

- "oowww… Bella lucky. Imagine, kiss Edward Cullen, and it wasn't just a kiss, it was KISS".

- "I don't understand why this kiss, we barely even talk in class".

- "What's to understand Bella! Edward Cullen kissed you".

It was like a child laughing and jumping in place.

- "Stop Jessica, I didn't like his attitude that" I lied… lol… was clear that I was confused, understand why in that kiss. But it was in the clouds.

- "You're crazy Bella, Edward Cullen kisses you and you don't like?" she looked at me incredulously.

- "Jessica, I must go home". I went into the van and started the engine noisy. – "See you tomorrow. All right?"

- "Sure, but tomorrow you will have to tell me what happened in that biology class for him to have kissed you this away".

Pulled with my old lady. Urgently needed to get out of there. Place the head in place.

_He kissed me, he kissed me._ The only thing that came to my mind. The man of my dreams I kissed it. A kiss strange, but wonderful.

- "Edward Cullen" I told myself. He was perfect, until his name sounded perfect.

I drove home still feeling the taste of your lips on mine.

************

POV EDWARD

I hate myself. I'm nature disgusting.

I was definitely going crazy! I could not think.

The thoughts of Newton hit me like a stab. I could not let him invite her to the cinema. But that was not what he wanted. Have you imagined kissing her, moving into more intimate caresses. I'll kill him, rip off your head.

_Who does he think he is?__What rights he had on it?__None!_

I didn't think again, only act on impulse.

_How could I kiss you that way?_ She must hate me. I also hate. But that kiss ... His soft lips to my contact, answering all my urgency. That smell that was so it hurt me, but did not care. I wanted to feel it completely.

I drove aimlessly, at full speed. I did not want to face my brothers. They never understand. Not even I understand. The only thing I knew was that she would be mine, and I would be hers. Some how. I would kill her, or with my eternity would not hurt her.

My cell phone rang insistently. Knew who he was. Alice. Left to play. Didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment. Wanted the peace of my own thoughts. I had to understand what was happening to me, no one opining.

The sight of Alice took my thoughts. I consoled. After my own action was added to the events.

_But I consoled her for what?__  
_  
I have no idea how he could help her, not hurt. But I kissed her, felt the power of his blood stuck to me. I did not hurt. She was too important to me.

_Yes!__This little fragile human was important to me_.  
He awoke something that I never imagined being able to feel. I knew with all my might that I loved her.

_If what I feel is love, how can I leave it?__  
_  
I had to go away, could not exist in his world. Would not have her as my companion. She was only human and I have a despicable creature.

I stopped the car abruptly. I looked at the houses of the street. And there was the faded pickup parked on the curb.

_What I do here?__Is her home.__  
_  
The same force that sent me follow path and go home, made me long for your touch again. I wonder how she was. I wanted to apologize. Wanted it!

The phone kept ringing.

- "What is Alice?"

- "Edward, I see you in front of the house of the girl Swan, but I can't see anything going forward. I don't see the future of either. Don't forget: I love you. "

_I also love_. I thought to myself.

- "Alice ... I ... I don't know what to do..." I hung up the phone.

Needed to be alone again. I turned the car ready to leave everything behind. Then I saw her walking out the front door. She raised her arms in the midst of the rain, staring at the sky. He was smiling.

Taken by the desire to have her in my arms and feel that your happiness, I ran toward him. I grabbed her by the waist, lifting off the ground and spinning her in my arms.

It was soft, warm. Ventured deep breath. The smell of it was even more tasty. My least noble part called for his blood. The part that I loved her wanted to protect her. Rub my lips to his neck. I felt the poison taking care of my mouth. I turned masochistic. Can only be. The pain I felt was intense, but I know that would be the most intense pain of losing her.

_Which of our species in their right mind would do that?__  
_  
I wanted to kiss her again. But it managed to boost. I closed my eyes to contemplate the moment. I felt it in my arms was pleasant. I opened my eyes to see your face.

She looked scared.

_"I was scared"__"She is afraid of me"_

I let your body ready to run. The last time I looked out. Wanted to have the memory of your face, your eyes. I needed to stay away. I was a monster, I would kill her sooner or later, even loving. I would kill my great love.

She gently touched my hand.

- "Don't go ..."


End file.
